The Playlist

Our entire relationship can be summed up in a playlist. .
Boy meets girl – Evan Taubenfeld.

We were so different, in our own little worlds. In a million years I’d never have expected us to cross paths but we did, and it was magical. You caught my attention for the weirdest of reasons, you had green flecked hazel eyes. I’m a science geek so to see a genetic mutation that rare just pass by me in the cafeteria blew me away. I grabbed you by the arm, pulled you away from your friends. It puts a smile on my face how awkward we must have looked, a socially awkward girl talking animatedly with a straightlaced boy in a power suit. But we clicked.

Head over feet – Alanis Morissette.

I’d been so skeptical of you of us. I doubted every kind word you said, every silent gesture. How could you genuinely like a girl like me. Loud, unfeminine and angry at the world. Even I don’t like me somedays. But you did and tried so hard to show me. You’d walk me to class and try to hold my hand, you’d listen to my misinformed feminist drivel for hours even though we both knew I wasn’t making any sense. But finally I let you in… I let you kiss me.

You – The Pretty Reckless

We played 21 questions today and I asked you what I thought was a brushover question.
“When did I first catch your eye?” I asked with a laugh. I’d run out of questions and who ever finished had to pay for the other’s lunch.
you actually blushed as you gave precise descriptions of what I wore and who I was with on matriculation, the day you first saw me.
“I had a huge crush.” You said, “But I didn’t think a girl like you would ever bother with a guy like me.”
And for the first time since we met, I didn’t know what to say.

Let’s make out – Does It offend You, Yeah?

I dragged you to the party, you didn’t want to go but I felt you needed to let loose a little and have fun. it was a small slumber party and we decided to play a game, Dare or drink. You got dared and if you couldn’t or wouldn’t you took a shot of vodka. A lot of the stuff they asked you couldn’t bring yourself to do because I was there so you drank, a lot. And because you drank, I drank too. We had sex for the first time drunk as skunks, on a strangers couch, without a condom. it was my first time, with anyone.

Dance Anthem Of The 80’s – Regina Spektor

We found opportunities to be around each other all the time. We talked about all sorts of things, music, politics, religion. You introduced me to your friends, made them like me. They were all funny and driven like you and for a while I could let go of my need to be different and just be comfortable around like minded people. Oh and sex, we had lots and lots of that, I just couldn’t get enough of you.

Over – A Perfect Circle

I wonder if I really felt it or if I was just relieved that someone bothered to take an interest in me. I guess everything got tangled, your friends became my friends and leaving you would mean losing them, plus we’ve had sex so it should have meant something and I felt comfortable with you so… But right now, my head clear and the sheet of paper on my bed has driven away my murky doubts. It’s time to get over sentiments and do what must be done

Happy birthday – Flipside ft. T.A.T.U

The doctor asked if I wanted to do this alone, I said yes. He asked if the father consented to this, I said yes. He prodded me and removed the life we’d created based on the lies I told him. I told your best friend but not you, cos I knew you wouldn’t let me get rid of it. I’ve seen too many of my friend’s dreams die cos they fooled around and got pregnant. And right then I didn’t love you, not enough to keep it. I didn’t even love myself, I just didnt know how I was supposed to love a child too. You found out, I knew you would. i expected you to curse me out, maybe even hit me in rage but you didnt do any of that. You just deleted my number from your phone and cut me out of your life. You didn’t even ask why?

Porcelain – Red Hot Chili Peppers

I miss it. The slight curve of my belly. The possibilities, the feeling of worth that comes from carrying another life. I hate this emptiness that swamps me and threatens my sanity. I’m not even allowed to mourn because I decided. I know you wonder, it was a boy, the doctor checked. I would have called him Lumieré, my light. So i’ll light this blunt and put it to my lips, and forget myself for a little while.

Idaho – Nerina Pallot

I need to get away, from this, from you, from all the side glances and the snickers. i shouldn’t have told my friend but I needed for someone to understand my reasons why. She was appalled by me, and she ran off to tell her friend how I was a heartless bitch who’d kill an unborn baby without even telling the father, and that one told someone else, news like that spreads pretty quickly. They all see you as the victim and that makes it even worse. Somedays I just want to lock myself away not have to face all this but that just gives me to thoughts I’d rather not indulge, so I’ll leave, give us both a new start, take away the evidence of what happened between us.